Monday, September 12, 2011

High Maintenance AssClown Of The Year

When I worked for the Boss Man, we had our share of high maintenance clients. If they're frequent clients, I'd find what it took to keep them happy, and do it. If they were of the more-trouble-than-they're-worth types, I'd do what it took to blow them off. They never did get the hint and leave, dammit.
2 of the doctors that I worked with most at Epic Fail made Hell seem like a day in paradise. There was Dr. Jekyll, the client ass-kisser who was Mr. Hyde with the receptionists-the one who needs and exorcism. Then there was Dr. Menstrual, a female vet who was rarely booked mostly because she seemed to be always on the bleed. Forget slamming an occasional Midol-she needs a daily IV drip of the stuff.
So I had been working there for several days and it was decided that maybe I could be trusted to Answer The Phone (ooh, greatness is mine). So the first call I get is this:
"This is Mrs. Pita, and I sent my husband in with Fido for his vaccines this morning. I want to speak to Dr. Menstrual now!"
"I'm sorry, Dr. Menstrual is in with a client, but I can give her the message and she can call you back."
"You tell her to call me right back! She told my husband that Fido is overweight! Fido is very muscular, he is very fit, he exercises at least 2 hours a day. He is NOT fat!!!"
"I'll give her the message and she'll call you at her earliest convenience."
"You'd better make sure that bitch calls me! I don't want her to ever touch Fido again! I want a second opinion from Dr. Jekyll, he knows what he is doing."

There was more said, but by then I stopped paying attention, plus the form I had to fill out for messages was full. I see Dr. Menstrual in the hall and hand her the note. Apparently, she told the husband that the dog looked a little overweight to her. And the dog was vicious to boot.
I found out that that was the fourth time that day she had called. The fifth time she called, one of the others gave her an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. Which is good since I probably would have said something like "What time would you like to bring Lard Ass in?"
She wouldn't have lasted a minute with Boss Man.