"Animal Hospital"
"Yes, this is dumbass solicitor calling, may I speak to the Office Manager?""She's not in right now. Call back after 3" (I'm gone by then)
"Can I get her name?"" Sure, ask for Ida Know."
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"Animal Hospital"
"Yes, this is dumbass from Merchant Services. May I speak to Boss Man?""No."
"Well, I can save him some money if he switches to our service."
"He still won't talk to you."
"He doesn't want to save money?""He thinks your company sucks. He'll tell you to kiss his ass. Would you like him to tell you that or are you satisfied with me conveying the message?"
This company calls an average of 6 times a day, and leaves at least 2 messages after hours. No matter what I say to them.
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"Animal Hospital"
"Yes, this is dipshit calling from some stupid company. We specialize in getting the negative ratings off the internet. Are you aware of the negative things being written about you?""Yep"
"Well, wouldn't you like to have those erased and only positive ratings showing?""Isn't that illegal?"
"No, it's perfectly legal. We can erase those negative ratings and comments!""Why? They're all true."
"We can still erase them, and get only positive ratings.""I can erase them too."
"How can you do that?""I wrote them."
Long pause, followed by a click.
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"Animal Hospital"
"How ya doing today?!""So far I've been snapped at, scratched, peed on, shit on, dropped a tumor on my shoe, stepped on testicles and got the phone receiver bloody in my rush to answer the phone and listen to some effing solicitor. But the day is young."
"This sounds like a bad time to call, I'll call back."
"After 6 would be perfect."
we close at 6
Ha! We get dozens of calls every day - can I speak to whoever's in charge of the electric bill, the water bill, television service, etc, etc, etc? I just connect them to the GM - because he won't answer his outside line anyway!
ReplyDeleteThe most irritating though, are the people who've submitted job applications and won't stop calling. This is usually a bad idea for one of two reasons. A. They get rude with me when I won't connect them to a manager, which I then go and tell my manager OR B. The can't speak English, which is only emphasized when they call so much. I tell my manager about this also. Not every position requires perfect English, but to work at the front (which is what some apply for), your English better be clear.