One of the reasons I decided to do a blog dedicated to bitching instead of my other love, indie makeup, is that there are tons who do this so much better. I suck at descriptions, and I'm too damned lazy to take pictures.
One subject I would avoid would be scented stuff. Scents, to me are a personal thing. It's all a matter of body chemistry. What smells great on someone stinks on another. I've got the kind of chemistry that very few scents work with, so I'm sure a review of "smells like shit on me, but you should try it!" wouldn't be appreciated by a seller. But I read reviews, and sometimes will try stuff based on that.
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, or BPAL, is a perfume company that has a huge cult like following. It's impossible for anyone who reads blogs about indie products not to have come across some BPAL reviews. So I've tried several of their stock and limited edition fragrances. And no matter what fragrance I try, they all smell the same on me. Like the morning after a night of drunken debauchery. Where you jump out of bed, holding your head, throw open the window, wake up the lump next to you and tell them to get the hell out and swear off alcohol forever. Anything to make it go away.
So I've left BPAL to those who love it. Until now.
Someone who I've been a customer of, who has a small indie bath and body shop, who I LIKE (and that list is small) sells a product that she calls Snake Oil. She's not the only person in the world that sells a product that they call snake oil, but for some reason BPAL has decided to give her a ration of shit about it. Apparently, BPAL sells something they call Snake Oil, which is not the same product as the other, for more than twice the price. And they're claiming that she, who has sold her product longer, is infringing on a name that BPAL has trademarked.
WTF?! The term "snake oil" has been around for hundreds of years, long before all of us were a twinkle in our daddy's eye. We use the term "snake oil" to describe anything from that used in the Craft to anything sold by infomercial. What moron in a trademark office would allow anyone exclusive use of an everyday term?!
And why would anyone whose company has several times more volume in sales want to bother a small indie perfume maker during the busiest time of the year? Is business so slow at BPAL that they have enough spare time to act like shitweasels?! Here's a few suggestions for being more productive with their time at BPAL:
Do something about that hot mess gawdawful website. Hire someone with opposable thumbs that can create something customers can navigate.
Hire more people to spend more time filling orders. You may actually have more business if customers can get their products in the same lifetime that they ordered it.
Put more effort into your quality/batch control. It sucks to reorder something because we loved in in an imp only to find out the full size is nothing like it.
For gawdsakes, blend. Even I, who can't describe perfume, can smell when it's not blended properly.
Quit calling your stuff unique when anyone who knows perfumes knows you use stock scents.
If you're going to harass one person about using a common phrase you now think you own, then do the same with everybody else. It's a long list, get busy.
Congratulate yourself. You've made the Cranky CatWrangler's AssClown List. Not distinguished enough to be AssClown Of The Year, but you're definitely a runner up.