Saturday, July 10, 2010

A Few Observations

Our office is low cost. Low cost means you may have to hold your own pet for the vet. Low cost means if your pet is hospitalized there is no one there after hours. Low cost means that the receptionist is also the surgical assistant, cage cleaner, kennel attendant and janitor. Low cost means we don't have all the fancy equipment that some hospitals do. Low cost means that we do follow the rules of cleanliness and sterility in the surgery rooms and kennels even if our ghetto looking waiting and examining rooms are not as clean looking as a human hospital. If those things are important to you in a veterinary hospital, you need to find another one. These things add a couple of hundred dollars to the vet bill you're complaining about. We understand your feelings, but don't berate us for it.
If your dog bites, may bite, or you're just not sure, ask for a muzzle. We appreciate it.
A dog bite at the vet's office is not free. If your dog bites the vet or someone there, it must be reported to Animal Control. That's the law and we are bound by it. And the law says you are financially liable for it.
The law states we must release your pet's information to law enforcement authorities when required to. This includes Animal Control.
If your pet is out of control or unruly, we may have to sedate for an examination and you WILL be charged for it. If you can't handle your own pet, don't expect us to risk ourselves because we won't. It's YOUR pet, not ours, and your handling issues are not our fault.
Accidents happen. It's pee or poop, not toxic waste. Let us know and we'll take care of it whether your pet did it or not. Save the histrionics for the drama club.
Yes, these are our hours. No, the vet isn't always there during these hours. We're there without the vet for phone calls, prescription refills, food purchases, clients picking up pets who are already here.
Yes, we accept walk ins during shot clinics and any time the VET IS THERE. Walking in without calling first means a)the vet might not be there or b)you may have to wait. Deal with it. You could have used that cell phone of yours that doesn't quit ringing to find out if your pet can be seen before you show up. If you're inconvenienced, that's your problem. Try seeing your own doctor without an appointment and see how far you get.
Yes, these are our policies and prices. No, we don't negotiate. No, I don't know why doctor X is cheaper or doesn't require current vaccinations for surgeries, but since he's so special, grace him with your pain in the ass presence.
Since you know way more than the vet or any of us about what's wrong with your pet, hang out your shingle and start your own practice.
When you come in expecting us to treat your dog for free because you are forced to feed your family $1 hamburgers, park your Jag somewhere besides the front of the office.
So Fido has been screaming in pain and has had the bloody runs for a week. And you show up without calling, having a fit because he's in pain and the vet is not here yet. We'll get to you as soon as possible, so sit down and cool your jets. Your lack of planning is not our emergency, and letting him suffer for a week makes YOU a bad person, not me.
Your next door neighbor, the convenience store clerk, the nice lady at the charity place who is helping you with the vet bill DO NOT WORK HERE. We do. If you choose not to follow our directions that one's on you.

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