Saturday, August 28, 2010

Of Bully Sticks and Oblivion

Several years ago, one of the hub's friends decided to be a dog food dealer. He was a skinny little shit, who hated fat chicks (me) and anyone who questions what he thinks he's an authority on (again, me).
Unfortunately, I'm the one who chooses the dog food, so he has to deal with me. I'm not an authority on ingredients, I know just enough to be annoying, which is still way more than he knows. So while he's trying to push me into buying a certain brand because he uses it and it's good because his dogs are shiny, I'm questioning ingredients, protein percentages, carbs, etc.
One day he comes by with a baggie he's made up of dog treats he's trying to sell me. He's already fed some to my dogs (which pisses me off as I don't want my dogs to start acting like him). These "treats" have an odd shape and a nasty smell. I insist on seeing the original package they came in, so I follow him out to his car.
The package is labeled Bully Sticks. Ingredients: 100% percent steer pizzle
"Uh, these things are weiners"
(Turns and speaks to my kid) "Your mom's crazy, these are dog treats."
"They may be dog treats, but what part of the steer do you think the pizzle comes from?"
I see his face redden at the realization that the fat chick may be right.
"So do you want them or not"
"No, there's something creepy about feeding an animal's dork to my dogs"

He stomps off and decides to do all his subsequent transactions with the hubster. Eventually he disappears from our lives as it's hard to stay in business when the proceeds go up your nose.Or maybe it's because after that day everyone who knew him quit calling him by his first name and referred to him as Steer Pizzle.

1 comment:

  1. This is classic! Funny when people don't pay attention to ingredients!