Thursday, October 7, 2010

Dear Dog

There's an old saying that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's. I've seen what you eat, and I don't think so.

There's plenty of horse poop for everyone. I don't see why you are fighting over one single turd. The other ones are the same, and there will be fresh ones 3 minutes after I've left the clean stall. No, I don't need your kiss of gratitude.

The farrier and horse vet can do their job by themselves and don't need your help. They can clean their own ears. Really.
I know you love chestnuts and ergots. I'll toss them to you. You don't need to stand within kicking range.

Thanks for bringing me sticks, logs, dead rats and chickens. I was worried I'd run out.

You eat poop. Why are you being picky about what's in your food bowl?

The horse grabbing a bite of your food is no reason to go ballistic. You eat his poop, it's a trade off.

You break out of the yard to get in the swimming pool. Why, then, are you so offended by baths and rain?

Sniff your own butt, leave mine alone.

It's a kitty litter box, not a doggy box lunch. Kitty Roca is not on the menu. Ever.

Love, Mom


  1. Oh how I love this! All of this is so true!

    So besides what you have listed here, our Chesepeake Bay likes to eat apples, real apples. Very odd. And our heeler/boarder collie likes to eat any poop she comes across. Regardless of what kind of poop it is.

    I've never thought a dogs mouth was cleaner than a humans!

  2. Mine love carrots, probably because the horses get them.

  3. Hey lovely post...Had great fun reading it. Great blog...So interesting!
    Check out mine honey!