The Name Game

Most of our clients come to our hospital in cars. They have credit or debit cards. So it's reasonable to believe that since they are licensed drivers and have bank accounts they have an IQ at least approaching room temperature.
Yet, they can't answer the simplest question: What Is Your Name?
Some clinics file their charts with the pet's name with the client's last name. We don't for several reasons. I've mentioned that we don't have a computer in the office, so getting the file can be like finding the golden egg at an Easter egg hunt.
"I need the vet to look at my dog."

"Have you been here before?"

"Yes"

"Your last name please"

"Blow"
(flipping through the B cards)

"Your first name?"

"Mine or the dogs?"

"Yours" sheesh, the questions get harder

"Joe"

We also get clients who swear they've never been there before, and go through all the horseshit of getting their info, which means having them fill out a new client info sheet. This is very basic info, name, address, phone, emergency contacts, pet's name, reason for visit. Some people spend 15-20 minutes on this laborious task. Why the hell it takes so long is beyond me, since it's information they were required to know before they entered kindergarten. Inadvertently, we end up with 2 files for the same person.
"I thought you said you haven't been here before"
"Well, I have, but not with this dog." I said YOU not your dog, assclown

We like to keep the client's pets all in the same file for a reason: we can easily access the pet's medical history of all it's visits here. Instead, we end up with the same pet in several different files since the husband, wife, partner and kid all start a new file folder. And when we can't find it all together because the client can't answer a simple question, guess who gets reamed?

Hispanic families confuse me, since usually nobody in the family have the same last name. It may be quite a search before we figure out which family member's name the pets info is filed under (usually the kid that speaks english). I can spend more time figuring out what name the file is under than Boss Man spends examining the pet.
So remember, when someone asks for your name that the questions will get harder from there.